Confessions of a friend

I have this deep dark confession to make.
Okay maybe it’s not that dark or deep, but it’s one of those things that when I tell people, they look at me like I have lost a nut~or a brain cell .
I hate weddings.
Yep.
Loathe and despise them. Now I know that it’s odd for a woman who made her living for years taking wedding pictures to confess to this, but in actuality it was taking photo’s that brought me to this place.
Marriage to me, is an important Life altering process. Like choosing to have children, it’s not something to be entered into lightly. It is a HUGE step, even if you have lived with someone for years, there is something on a deeper level about the commitment and the ties that become more visible with your signature on this contract.
Wether you make this union binding through a civil ceremony or a religious one, it is something profound and has meaning and value. You can ascribe your own definitions to this, but it is there.
So why do I hate weddings?
Marriage is a between two people. It is about them, their lives, their future , their choices, but weddings seldom are.
Weddings are family dynamics, other peoples influences, wants needs and desires which get cast onto the couple.
Does this make sense?
My good friend whose wedding I am struggling with has been married once before, she has 3 kids from a previous marriage and has 1 child with the man she has lived with for 5 years.
This should be a piece of cake…right?
Nope.
MIL wants this..FIL wants That, Mama wants this, grandma won’t come unless this, One child feels left out, one child wants to be left out…
I am sitting watching in horror as the events begin to stack up and stress out two people who started off with something simple and sweet, and now have a monkey on their back that has appeared because they want everyone to be happy. This is their day, and everyone else is pissing in it, so that it will conform to there well meaning intentions.
I have a crying bride to be, who keeps changing her wedding dress as her stress levels go off the Richter scale.
Do you know what I say?
Nothing
nada
zip.
I put on tunes and cut my hands with scissors trying to cut out patterns, I hug her profusely, and I listen.
Because I hate weddings, and what they do to couples.
So this is what’s playing in the background tonight as I finish up the first dress..