I sit and sip my tea, I am waiting on the rain. I want to walk in it for a while. The rain is one of those cleansing things that seems to wash my cobwebs away. The webs in my mind are more a tangle of thoughts, than a lack of movement.
I have packed up the boxes for delivery tomorrow, and have made my list of what I need to get done. ( If I don’t leave the list at home, it will be just aces!) I have posted some pottery pieces over at the Labyrinth of Life shop, some inspirations from Hearth Talks who is a potter as well. I have a few of the shirts to take over to some local Gift shops with the hopes of selling some locally.
I have been playing on the wheel and am in a calm and quiet place right now. Should I post photo’s of my play? I often wonder how boring ones process work is for others to look at. It was so nice to have a friend stop by and be able to show her all the finished resteraunt stuff and say, “Look , I can do this, and not lose myself to it, because when I was done, I could still make these!” and of course she laughed , because she knows me, and knows that worry I have of losing myself to the need to make money and provide.
Living in the juxtaposition between earning a living and living. I am sure I am far from being alone in this space. I surrender a lot of the fear, but then I have days when the 15 year old asks me why I can’t have a”real” job so that we can have more “things”. I know he has enough things, and one day he will find himself in the world and decide just what “things” are important to him. What he is willing to do or not do for those material comforts that all teenagers crave. I will attempt to be a good Mamma and keep all those secret smiles to myself as I watch him weigh and measure his desires.
Today however there is silence, symmetry, and simplicity in my being.
To many inner voices for peace, but I am happy that I have moved through the urge to bellow “MOOO” at all those lovely life issues. I am quietly saying “moo” in my head, and smiling at the silliness of it all.
A calm and happy “moo” to all…..
I was just talking to someone about the issues of earning a paycheck versus living last night. Actually, it is a recurring theme in my conversations! I think that most of us do struggle to find this balance. I’m not sure if it is easier to be making a living at your art, since it might blur the line between your creative process and your creative-commercial process, compared to my job that is so completely opposite of so many things I believe in that the distinction is mind-jarringly clear to me.
I mean, it is hard in the sense that I have a tension between what I feel like I should be doing with my life versus what I do to pay the bills, but at the same time, the non-work part of my life is very distinct.
I suppose there isn’t an “easier” or “harder” to these different scenarios, just a different flavor of the same basic issue.
This was a really nice post. I felt like you were carrying me with you to the calmer space!
And I think your 15 year old will absolutely realize the pricelessness of everything you’re teaching him by your example…it just will have to wait until after high school for him to be able to see it clearly!
DEB~ I want to tell you it has always been a struggle to find that place of balance. I think so many of us these days are more aware than ever before that where we are at inside is not always where we can be in th present culture. Our culture is lacking so much lately, and i find it alarming that we have so many folks just riding it out. I had someone say to me recently, if all the sleeping fools woke up, there would be a deafening amount of screaming. I think they are right. I know from my own perspective, that there is this line so many are now drawing between an ethic they have at work that they would never have in their personnel life. Why? I don’t honestly know. I think if we live with an intention, to do or be something more than just alive, that we begin to grow into that direction. Does that make sense? Thank you for your conversation and thoughts, It has brought me a lot of introspection…
Evening Lady Sorrow~
What a BEAUTIFUL, CALMING post. I could actually FEEL you in this. And it felt WONDERFUL!!!
You and I feel the same way about rain. I will actually walk the city streets for HOURS on end and feel so cleansed by the end of the day. Actually, gray, rainy days are my favorite. While most people feel depressed…rain makes me feel so ALIVE and at the same time so PEACEFUL! It’s raining here now, too. Tomorrow is the same.
Ahhh…and making a living and living! This has always been a feeling in my life too. I think for people like us, who try to live and balance both human and spiritual natures…we can’t help but feel this way. For me, it’s so important to LIVE (and live simply)…so I try and keep my “making a living” simple too. I realize that having a family to consider and support, is quite different. But you ALWAYS seem to keep a beautiful balance and give your children what’s most important, and that is…the quality of LOVE!
Please DO post photo’s of your PLAY! I freaking LOVE seeing them, cause their so filled with your “energy.”
Thank you for such a lovely post, Lady Sorrow. It made me feel GREAT!
Sleep well….
I’ve always wished to be able to not draw a line between living and making a living. I would probably not teach if I weren’t paid to do it, but on the other hand, teaching does give me more than pay check. I enjoy sharing what I know and the thought of making it a little easier for someone to learn something makes me happy.
I have split feelings when it comes to things and what and how much we should own. Things don’t make us happy, there is no way owning a car would make me happy… but owning a car that makes it possible for me to visit people I love does make me happy. We should always ask ourselves what the things we want to buy can do for us.
Buying expensive things only to show people you have money is not happiness. Owning more than you will ever be able to spend during a lifetime is not happiness either. On the other hand, lacking everything and having to struggle to make ends meet does not always make people happy and content with what they have.
I’m struggling with where to draw the line… I’ve never had more than I could spend during a lifetime, but there have been days when I haven’t quite been able to make ends meet and there have been days I’ve had more than I need…
I like your post, made me reflect over why I work and why I study
[...] Sorrow mentioned in her last post of her fear of losing herself in the process of making a living instead of living her life. I understand her fear because one of the reasons I feel I’m not a business person is the image I have in my head. Business is something you do when you don’t care about others or care about the wellbeing of your environment. In business you do everything to be the best and make most money, no matter what. Sell your soul to the devil and gain power and wealth. Lose your life in the process of making a living. [...]
*happy sigh*
I can hope that my ‘rawwrrr’-ing is complete– Just in time to be ‘present’ for folks who really do need me to be available-emotionally, physically and spiritually. (I can hope!)
Somedays it can feel like I’m making a living–and then the Big Guy sees to it that I’m ever so gently reminded about why it is that my feet are where they are. The decision to leave private practice to be a part of what I get to do today–was a choice driven by anger and frustration.
It’s been one of the bestest ‘pissed off’ decisions I’ve ever made. LOL Guess the Big Guy knew I had to be good and ‘done’ to bring me here, eh?
OH….And as one who’ll race out into the rain to splash in puddles, I look forward to the storms. It’s all about making the most of what gets tossed in front of me, eh? (even if the neighbours think I’m off my rocker! LOL)
C:)
Back at ya!
i hear your frustration and your eventual peace with what you do to live, to thrive, to listen to your soul, i know it’s price well Sorrow…and I shrug and say well that’s just the way it is. one day our children will see, or not, it’s their journey, and until then, we’re here to help them see a different side to convention and capitalism.
and sorrow…
i did it ~ i moooooed the other night. and yep, it made them laugh…but it made me laught too..and it broke the tension, however temporary…and i’m now adapting it as my “mother moo” ’cause dang, it felt so good to be that basic in my frustration…and when i did it, an image of a puppy eyed cow sprang to mind, and swept out the red of anger…
peace & shakin’ the tree & moo,
Lil xo
Lil~ A big smile and a big HUG! I am so glad that you found a little Om in your MOo! It occurs to me that some 20 years ago a good friend of mine and i decided that we were C.O.W.S and not vipers. Vipers are women who are wapish and nasty , petty and cruel.Cows are Community Of Women. Or women for women.. soo the Mooo works really good with being a COW. Although I don’t know at my present weight if i would really like being referred to as a Cow…
I love those times when the moo returns to OM and I am in one right now… such peace.. now I am off to see your pottery! xo
MissR~ So glad you are in a place of peace…
I enjoy hearing about your days. Sounds like you are returning to a more peaceful place.
You are teaching wonderful life lessons to your son, and someday (usually beyond the teen years) he will realize what a good and wise Mama he has.
I think you should post your pottery in process!
Good energy to you and yours.
Thanks Gypsy~ It’s a long road in and out of peace and quiet, but it’s always about the journey.
Think I will post on the art from time to time see what folks think, thanks for a recommendation’s!
bright blessings!
Wonderful. Please let us know if the local stores pick up your shirts!
SE~I had one taker out of 4 stores, so i am hopeful.
<strong>Ron~ I have an umbrella big enough for two, shall we walk in the rain and listen to th sounds of distant thunder ? It is just the best feeling in the world! i couldn’t agree more!My place of simplicity is a hard one to hold onto, I had a righteously MONDAY yesterday and i am still in recovery today. I had a hell of a vent, but I think some days just need to lay down and die?! don’t you?
Thanks for the visit my friend. Toasting you with tea and scones!
Your fellow rain dancer!
Susie~
I have been to your post and i think you did a marvelous job articulating what so many of us feel about the hows and why s of paying the bills and being true to what our heart speaks.! Thanks for coming in and sharing some very positive and powerful thoughts!
Read susies thoughts here!
Mel~
I am laughing with you, really I am. I have the experience of making some of the best decisions when i am pissed as well, I tend to over complicate and heaven knows I need to just get on with it!
Hugs to you!
Beautifully said Sorrow.
I’m happy for you that you’ve got your moment of simplicity and balance. We all need theses moments so much and I’m grateful to have shared yours
I do find it hard to balance myself always.
Oh do post pictures of your play in progress – It would be wonderful to see
I shall try to post some play, and i am in and out of peace just like a windy day!>>>
I would love to see your work in progress, your wheel, your hands covered in clay. And more items in your shop!