The Devils gifts…

dev·il :3.a person who is very clever, energetic, reckless, or mischievous.

Ten years ago I met the Devil, he was reading a book outside in the warm New Mexico sun. The ruins of a Mogollon pueblo were a silent back drop to this fascinating man. When I caught site of the book he was reading, I began to converse with him. It was an awesome exchange, full of really good questions and incomparable answers. I was enthralled by this mans wisdom and insights. Before parting I asked him for a list of book recommendations. Things that would reflect our conversation, and the journey I was on.

He obliged me and I have that list of books somewhere still in this house, written in his hand. Every time we move I come across it, and look at it.
Yes, I have read every book on that simple list….and more. I would read one, and find bibliographies in the back and hunt out those books. Some writers were so good I devoured everything they had written. I believe it took me about a year to find and read all the books on that list.
When I was done, my whole world shifted. It changed me in ways that even to this day I am affected by.

I lost my religion. I lost my faith. I went deep into the darkest part of my heart and soul, and saw the stains and fissures left by knowledge, truth and understanding.
I could give this list to a thousand people, but if you were not in the place I was , in the mind and soul of who I was then, I don’t think it would have the same impact.
For me, that man was the devil, because he took away my blinders, my rose colored glasses, and left me with the ability to see, to see from a perspective that I had never known.
I laugh now when I speak of my meeting with the Devil, but once not so long ago it was the single most painful revelation of my life.
Imagine a knowing, that changes nothing and everything.
Imagine if the view from your window one day was so completely different that you couldn’t believe it was the same view, that your mind and your eyes began a quarrel that neither could win.
I finally stopped asking why, and have accepted it as one of life’s lessons. A tool , a piece, a gift, a curse, a part of who I am now that can not be undone.
Be aware that what you seek, you may find.