Love is it’s own kind of Magic, It’s own kind of Curse.
There are so many kinds of love, and once touched by love, we are forever changed by it.
Do you love?…Yourself?
Do you Love?….Yourself?
Do you love?…Enough?
For My Brother Rainbow
Gifts
What is it about the Holidays? It is a glitter colored doom for so many. It creates such anxiety with in people. When my 15 year old comes up to me and says ” I wish we weren’t poor” I look at him and laugh. ” Dreaming of sugar plum fairies are you?” Not hardly, and if he was dreaming of bikini clad babes, Mom would not be the first soul he would be extolling to. He is wishing for ‘things’. His list of wants is as long as most kids I would imagine, but he also is aware that I don’t have the funding for all that. We are not poor, my son doesn’t know poor. I try very hard to make sure he doesn’t get to close to that place. He has never gone to bed hungry, he may go to bed with a belly full of red beans and rice, but he is not hungry. He has also seen me dash to the bank to get 20$ I don’t have for some one who is trying to make their rent. His birthday is Sunday, and although I desperately need a gram scale if I am going to be able to mix glazes for this possible contract, he will get a birthday gift and my damn scale will wait a while. It is how it is.
I have many friends out there in the world, blessed am I. Most of them struggle just like I do. They hold onto one end while they try to keep the other from slipping through their fingers. Some have kids, some don’t, but they all try their damnedest to make the holidays the best. It’s what we do when we love. I have one friend who called tonight whose Husband just got laid off, and she is feeling guilty because there will be very few gifts under the tree. Guilt, anxiety, stress… they can eat a soul alive. I could list a few more souls I know who have fallen on hard times right now, it always seems to be the season, but we all know someone. We all could be that someone.
When the weight of the season starts pressing down on me I pull out my copy of Pearl S. Bucks ” Christmas Day in the Morning.” It is the best thing to put a smile on my face, and make my load seem lighter.
Now FYI, I do not “practice” any of the religions of Abraham. ( I am however firm in my convictions that there is a GOD) I do however share the traditions and the season of peace and good will with my kids. We do Winter Solstice where we go out and place food for the animals and keep a candle lit to make the longest night, brighter. We celebrate Chanukah and Christmas with explanations of there origin and intent. Trust me, all the kids want is the loot. ( LOL) (Momma wants them to find their path to God.)
The hardest part in the last few years has been how hard the holidays are on others. Over the years my kids have become used to just a few ‘things’ for the holidays. They have more fun making cookies and watching me get tangled in holiday lights and try not to fall off the ladder. I have given gifts to friends, but I see the shame???Guilt?? in their eyes that they feel it must be reciprocated, and even though I have gone to great lengths to explain that isn’t what I want or intend, I can not change how they feel. So I have excepted their needs and have bowed to their wishes, no more gifts. Part of me should be relieved, it is less of a financial burden, but damn it it’s fun to give gifts! Hell in my house it’s fun to MAKE gifts! It’s something my kids get a kick out of! (I know Harley understands me here! Ms. Red Velvet)
So here is the deal. On Monday, December 10th I am going to post a photo of 5 things I have hand made.( Some with the help of my kids) Anyone who would like them, be it for themselves or to give away, ( I’m just having fun here!) needs only to email me at 11sorrow@gmail.com, tell me which item you would like. I will then put your name in a bowl , one bowl for each item. You have until 12:00 noon on Thursday the 13th to let me know . I will have the kids draw names on the Thursday December 13th at 5 pm EST. I will then notify you and have you send me your address and it will be on it’s way to you!
Here’s the catch, because there is always one. You have to pay this forward. What this means is, I strongly believe in Karma. When someone does something good for you, you need to do something good for someone else. I don’t care what you do, walk a little old lady across the street, volunteer at your kids school, donate to charity, whatever. As long as you give, you have fulfilled Karma.
This is a very fun idea for me and mine to really get into the season of giving. We are all looking forward to sharing our creativity and play with the world. I thank you, in advance, for helping teach my kids about love, about the global community and what the season of peace is all about.
Namaste
Moon Magick
The moon has held me Enthralled for the last couple days. I watched it rise full one night and was so captured, that when I finally came inside I was a block of ice. I had a friend loan me her digital camera, I have been taking all kinds of fun photo’s with it, when I decided to try some night shots. Please understand, I have taken many long term exposure shots with my regular film camera, but never with a digital. So when I discovered this bad boy had a bulb setting it was a little gofer dance in the kitchen!
I trudges camera and tripod out into the far back woods. It was the deep end of the night, in the wee hours of morning. I set up and shot through the trees. I experimented with different time lapses. from 30 seconds up to 2 minutes. Then I came in and uploaded them on to the computer.
I was blown away, bamboozeled, transfixed , amazed and astonished. Please understand, these have NOT been photoshopped. I have a Mac, I put them in iphoto and played only with the saturation trying to get the moon ROUND. It was a big NO-GO. I don’t know if this is common with Digitals, but it is cool as shit.
The Rainbow around the moon reminded me so much of my friend Rainbow Demon, it looked like a rainbow embracing the moon, like hugs from the universe! So Cool! Anyway, I am sharing my hugs from the universe to not only Rainbow, but to all in need!
Namaste
Choices, Accountability, Creativity and Blame
It is an oddity for me to post on the weekend. I am usually incredibly wiped out from doing a show and want to just be a vegetable on the sofa with a glass of wine, some groovy tunes and a little firelight.
Today is different in that I didn’t do a show, I taught . I do not teach often, not because I don’t enjoy it, I really do. I love the exchange, I love watching the creative process unfold for people, when I teach it is more than just imparting my accumulated knowledge. For me it is giving people the ability to express through different art mediums, that which is within them. A kind of unfolding if you will.
I have a couple rules in class that do not pertain to art at all, one is that we can chat about anything but TV shows. Movies are fine, plays are fine, kids, jobs, parents, life all fodder for discourse. I have removed TV from the menu for two reasons. One I don’t have one, thus I am exempt from conversations. Two, they do not provide much in the way of conversation stimulus. ( did you see this show? oh yes I loved that part, did you see this part! oh my god wasn’t that funny when…is akin to gossiping about non-real people and it weirds me out.)
The second rule is that opinion is not grounds for offense. Everyone has an opinion about something, and if you disagree, fine. BUT no opinion is the RIGHT opinion. I usually get some eye rolling when I state this at the beginning of class, but when we hit this, as we invariably do, I have an open door to say ” Opinion! offense free zone!” and everyone just laughs and unclenches a little. If it gets to intense I whip out the old ” You know why opinions are like assholes right? ” and that clears the air.
Today however I hit a really different one, which is why I am sitting at this machine writing. I am verbalizing an experience that I want to be able to come back to in a couple days and look at again, and I want to see what other folks opinions are on it. So please I would really love some feedback on this one!
Student A, we will call her Jane, is in her late 40’s. ( a guess) She has a grown daughter who is married with two small children , 6 months and 3 years approximately. ( I never understood the whole 29 months thing)
Last spring Jane’s son in law was offered a promotion with the company he works for. The downside was he would have to move out of state and be about 9 hours from his family. The company was willing to pick up the moving tab, and it was a sufficient raise. Jane’s daughter does not work so that was not a problem. He opted not to take the job. This past Monday the company announced that the local office he works at is going to be closed and the employee’s will be out of work as of FEB 1. Seems that this particular office doesn’t support it’s self, so it’s gone. Jane’s son in law is pissed, Jane is pissed. The market for the type of job he does is very tiny around here, so his hopes for another job close to home are slim pickings. Jane spent a good 20 minutes bashing this company and wanting to know why the hell they didn’t tell him this in the spring?
It was at this point I said” Look, that’s life. Things are put in front of you from time to time. You make a decision, and you go with it. If it doesn’t work out, you suck it up and make the best of it. It’s nobodies fault, it’s not the companies, he had his chance and he chose to stay by his family knowing that if things didn’t work out, his job market was tiny.”
Jane said ” Well that was cold. Don’t you have any compassion for (x)? Do you treat your own kids with that much disdain?”
I was quiet for a couple minutes and then I said ” When my kids make a decision, based on whatever and it falls to pot, I let them vent, I sure has hell don’t let them throw blame. When your young , you have to learn A+B=C. Momma sure as hell can’t tell you that, you’ve got to learn it first hand. That’s life. What does blaming his company serve? The next time an opportunity comes his way, he will take more time, weigh all the options and not make a instant choice based completely on his comfort. I don’t think of it as being cold, but I thank you for being so forthright with me in giving your opinion.”
She sat for a couple minutes and everyone was kind of thoughtful when she looked at me eyes blazing with anger and said ” Did you just infer that I was cold in MY comment?”
” Nope, ” I said, ” I just respect someone who speaks their mind. You said you thought my comment was cold, and I appreciated your candor.”
She was pretty hot about this for most of the class, it was very evident in her creations and her lack of connectedness with what she was doing. The rest of the class went well and we had a lot of fun.
When the class was over she came up to me and said ” I respected your rules for this class, but I want you to know your opinion is Wrong! and I won’t be taking this class again”
I nodded ” Thank you, you gave me a lot this class and I am sorry that you won’t be taking another one. I really enjoyed having you, and I hope that everything works out for your daughter and her husband.”
She muttered ” Hypocrite” under her breath and left.
I don’t think I am a Hypocrite, and I sincerely Do wish her family well. Do you know what an honor it was to have her respect my wishes? Do you understand that by not entering into a battle of who is right that she allowed the other students a stress free environment in which to play? How awesome is that?
Now maybe I am off in my beliefs about her son in law. It’s just that in my own personal life experience, I haven’t always made the right choices, I haven’t always been given an easy way. I have had to do some serious shit detail, I have had to shut up and put up with a lot, because thats the hand I got dealt. I vented, don’t think I didn’t! I just never saw a purpose in placing someone, anyone, anything responsible for the results of my choices. Maybe I am wrong, maybe I shouldn’t take the hit and carry on. The only person I hold accountable is me.
Anyway, what a day!
Ketchup :)
I am going to say YIKES! at the top of my lungs! Did ya hear me?
Life’s been crazy and I feel like I have been coming and going at the same time. Don’t get me wrong, I am so incredibly blessed, ( I saw a shooting star last night and was just blown away! Magic!) it’s just the season for chaos!
I feel behind in all the things I want to do, including my blog , which in the past week and a half , I have just sorta done on the fly. I have some things I have really wanted to post ,but Old timers or Anhieser’s ( as my buddy Ned always says), or chaos take your pick. So This is my catch up blog! I may not give the time or attention each of these things needs, But if I wait, I’ll never get to them.
FIRST;
My dearest Bro, Rainbow Demon has had this awesome post about Zappadan, which you have to check out! It’s a wonderful concept and a hilarious way to celebrate the up coming loot gathering holiday. I have been called a Hippie, and some other unsavory things but I am a HUGE Zappa Fan! So Please take a second and go check out the fun!
Next I would like to talk about a good friend of mine. She is an awesome lady with a heart of gold. She works really hard and has a sweet loving husband and an incredible son. Things aren’t always easy for her though, her son has Autism. He can be a kind and caring kid one minute and then some switch inside his head goes off and he is out of control. It is so hard because we don’t understand much about this disorder. As I am sure you can imagine it’s a battle in the dark, not only for the souls with autism, but for the family and friends who love them.
These are a couple sites that you can learn more about Autism
http://www.autismspeaks.org/
http://www.autism.org/
and Surface earth was kind enough to post this link
Autism Speaks, a sponsoring organization for the Autism Awareness campaign created a music video of the Five for Fighting song, “World”, which features images of autistic children and their families. It is a truly moving video and was the work of their Creative Director, Bill Shea.
The band is generously donating $0.49 to Autism Speaks for each time the video is viewed. When you have a moment, please visit the link below to watch the video and pass it along to your friends and family. They are aiming for 10,000 hits, but hopefully we can help them to surpass this goal.
What kind of world do you want?
please take a moment to watch and help those with Autism! Thanks!
The next item on my to do list is a share. I have never met the woman who runs and has created this remarkable business, but what I do know about her is she is an over flowing cup of human kindness. She has some marvelous sons , that she rightfully brags about, and a circle of friends that are also caring and committed people.When I come across someone whose Art is not only lovely but touching and profound I can’t help but want to share it with everyone. I purchased Holiday cards from her and they are just WOW!
Her place is called Bone sigh arts. ( Isn’t that a great name?) and you can even send e-cards! please please please go check her out and don’t forget to look at the holiday cards!
Thanks!
I’m gonna take a minute now to talk about my son. I kind of keep my kids out of my blog, if you are a parent you know how they each up so much of your day,your life , your energy, your love, your food if they are a teenager! , and most of the time it’s in a good way. Please don’t misunderstand me, I love and adore my kids, but I try to have something for myself so I have some place to go to recharge so that I always have something for them.
My son will be 15 in less than 10 days. He is a terrific person. I know that if I was his age I would love to have him as a friend. He is funny and caring, smart and intuitive, opinionated and willing to stand up for what he believes is right. He broke is arm playing football a month and a half ago( he got close-lined), so he has sat on the sidelines and just cheered his buddies on.He does some incredible stupid things, but he has a sense of humor that usually saves him from complete despair. Right now at this stage in his life, he wants more than anything to be a Marine when he gets out of school. I will be sitting on the sofa reading a book and he will stretch out next to me, put his head in my lap and tell me all about signing up and kicking some terrorist butt. I often look at him and wonder how I gave birth to this? I am the beatnik bohemian peace-nick, I put flowers in the ends of shotguns. I have tried to teach him about peace through understanding and conversation.I know he is open minded, his friends are a motley bunch, from the extremes of piercings and punkness, to red necks, Moslem’s , Christians, and gays. So when I read Goldenferi’s post with the Kahlil Gibran poem, it was a knock on the door from Karma. It was a reminder that He’s mine to love, but his life is his to live.
darn it….
AND LASTLY… My Friday poem!
Hanukkah (silliness) (author unknown)
‘TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHANUKAH
OY! WHAT A SHOCK!
SOMEBODY OUTSIDE
WAS PICKING OUR LOCK!
AND THERE AT THE DOOR
STOOD A ‘ZAYDA’ IN BLUE-
AND HE WORE ON HIS KUPP
A BLUE YARMULKA, TOO!
HIS PUNIM WAS SHAIN-
EVERYBODY WOULD LOVE IT!
‘ROUND HIS NECK HUNG A CHAIN
WITH A GOLD MOGEN DOVID!
HE WORE SILKEN TSITZES
BENEATH HIS WOOL VEST,
AND A SMALL FLAG OF ISRAEL
WAS DRAPED ON HIS CHEST!
HE SAID: “I’M NO BURGLAR,
SO PLEASE DON’T BE NERVOUS.
I’M THE SPIRIT OF CHANUKAH,
HERE AT YOUR SERVICE!”
“MENCHEN ALL CALL ME
‘REB’ SHALOM SHAPIRO!
WITHOUT ME, THIS YOM-TOV
MIGHT NEED A NEW ‘HERO!’”
“I VISIT ALL YIDLACH,
AND BRING – KINNAHORRA-
GOOD FORTUNE AS BRIGHT
AS A GLOWING MENORAH!”
“ICH SHLEPP LOTS OF BLESSINGS
AND CHANUKAH GELT,
AND JOYS THAT ARE TAKKA
THE BEST IN DER VELT!”
“IF YOU KNOW NICE MENCHEN,
I’LL VISIT THEM QUICK,
AND I’LL BRING THEM GEZUNT
AND A HOUSEFUL OF GLICK!”
SO WE SENT HIM TO YOUR HOUSE,
AND SHOOK HANDS AND PARTED.
HE SHOUTED, “SHALOM!”
OUT THE DOORWAY HE DARTED!
HE RAN TO A WAGON
WITH HORSES AHEAD.
HE FED THEM SOME BAGELS,
AND HERE’S WHAT HE SAID:
“LET’S GO, MOISH AND MENDEL!
MAKE QUICK, MOE AND YUSSLE!
PLEASE GIVE A RUSH, MALKAH!
HEY, HYMIE, PLEASE HUSTLE!”
THEN THEY RACED LIKE THE WIND!
AND THEY GALLOPED SO SHNELL,
ALL HIS CLOTHING BLEW OFF,
AND HIS GATKES AS WELL!
SOON HE WAS SO KALT
THAT HIS TUSHIE TURNED BLUISH!
HE MOANED AND HE HOLLERED
IN ENGLISH AND JEWISH!
SO, DON’T ACT EMBARRASSED,
AND PLEASE DON’T BE RUDE
WHEN THAT FROSTBITTEN ZAYDA
ARRIVES IN THE NUDE!
QUICK! WRAP HIM IN BLANKETS!
DON’T BEAT ‘ROUND THE BUSH’!
AND TIE A HOT WATER BAG
ON HIS COLD TUSH!
QUICK! FEED HIM SOME CHICHEN SOUP
HEISS AS CAN BE!
AND GIVE HIM SOME SHNAPPS
AND A GLEZ’L HOT TEA!
‘CAUSE HE BRINGS YOU A HOUSEFUL
OF CHANUKAH WISHES
AS WARM AND GESHMOCK
AS PLATE OF HOT KNISHES!
AND HE BRINGS THEM FROM OUR HOUSE
SO FRIENDLY AND BRIGHT,
SO YOUR HOUSE WILL KEEP GLOWING
WITH CHANUKAH LIGHT.
PLUS JOY SWEET AS TSUKKER,
AND PEACE AND GOOD-CHEER
AND EVERYTHING FRAYLACH
EACH DAY OF THE YEAR!
AND NONE IN YOUR FAMILY
WILL BE A SHLEMAZEL,
FOR LIFE WILL BRING EACH OF YOU
SIMCHAS AND MAZEL!
AND ALL THROUGH THE FUTURE
YOUR HOPES WILL COME TRUE,
AND HIMMEL WILL BLESS
YOUR MISHPOCHA AND YOU!!!
Shalom!
Thanks for bearing with me! I can now paste on a smile and check one off the list!
Awards…
HEY!
I want to Thank HAWK for passing me some awards, unlike Harleys chickens he didn’t fly by and drop these on my head!
Thank you so much o’winged wanderer!
And I Quote from Hawks place:
This badge is for bloggers who make their blog their own, stay with it, interact with their readers, and have fun!”
“Having received many awards I have decided that it was time I created one for ALL my Blogging Buddies. You are ALL awesome and contribute to the wonderful global communities that we have all created. Thank you 
Again a big Thank you to the fly boy! So now I get to pass these along
Goldeferri,
Prada pixie
Rainbow Demon
Sacred Suzie
and Brandi @ Dandelion seeds ( My apologize for messing up the name! Brain fart!)
With gratitude for there visits, wisdom and inspiring introspections!
Inspiration
I have been meaning to post these two photo’s, but Life always seems to be running past me at light speed. You know the adage about ” the road to hell is paved with good intentions?” I’m a hellavu paver!
Mother winter moon posted a poem some time back that really caught me. I have incorporated it into several of my art pieces and have been supremely pleased with the results. We never know what is going to catch us and inspire us. One of the reasons I am such a poetry hound, is that I love the visualization of emotion. I am struggling right now to try and get a contract to make pottery for a local restaurant, so I am caught in the place of needing to pay bills, but beyond unenthusiastic about making the same thing over and over. I need however to eat and buy gifts for the pagan loot gathering holiday. So I am trying to suck it up and make some good quality and unique things that will catch the owners eye and get me the job. The compromises of life…Sigh.
So, a BIG THANK YOU to Mama Moon, for being my muse, and another BIG thanks to all of you who keep your fingers crossed for me and this job!
Poems for Friday
There is a definite chill in the air, and I have spent a windy day raking leaves and hauling firewood. I am sore now from both my tumble and toil.
Company is coming so I am a bit distracted. Instead of a poem, I am sharing a rhyme from my childhood. It seemed more in keeping with the days events and the chill in the air. My grandfather taught this to me when I was very young and it played in my mind today…I hope you enjoy.
Beechwood fires burn bright and clear
If logs be kept a year.
Oak logs if dry and old
Keep away the winters cold.
Chestnuts only good they say,
If for years is laid away.
But ashwood green or ashwood brown
are fit for a king with a golden crown.
Elm, she burns like a churchyard mold.
even the flames are very cold.
Birch and pine wood burn to fast.
Blaze to bright and do not last.
But ash wet or ash dry
A Queen may warm her slippers by.
